The year started in such a terrible rush that I didn’t even had time to think about it (at all)
This year I decided to spend less time on social media, specially Instagram. So in order to do that I decided to delete my “vent” account and also my food intake one.
I realized they didn’t offered me anything good.
And no. I wasn’t venting. I was complaining about things instead of analyzing my feelings and actions. So that of course was leading me nowhere. And fuck, the ammount of time I wasted in there was unreal.
It’s been like two weeks maybe since those accounts are gone, and I feel some weird relief feeling (probably from not obsessively looking at a feed full of emaciated bodies and open cuts and in general a lot of negativity. Cause truth is that Instagram can get really really toxic.
And I need to get that away from my life, seriously, I can’t spend another year on the same bullshit. Psychically and mentally I can’t.
I’m starting medication again, probably at the end of the month and it’s going to be venlafaxine of course, I’m on weekly individual therapy (again) and every two weeks I see my nutritionist and psychiatrist.
I’m really putting all I have on this. I am. Cause I can’t keep living on this way that has been leading me nowhere.
I need to stop making excuses and I need to start facing all the things and feelings that I’ve buried deep inside my heart. Cause otherwise I’ll never get any better.
So, thank you all for staying around, even tho you probably wont see me as active as before, I’m still here.
Love ya all ❇️